


Nusune's Rebellion

by AncientWings



Category: Angel Beats!
Genre: Death, Forgiveness, God - Freeform, Hatred, Hope, Loss, life - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-07
Updated: 2013-06-07
Packaged: 2017-12-14 05:08:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/833095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AncientWings/pseuds/AncientWings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An in-progress fan-fiction of Angel Beats! that I started late at night and feel like sharing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nusune's Rebellion

I huddled in my room, wrapping my knees with my arms. The light was off; I could think better when it was dark. Where had my world gone? My eyes, once shining with so much fire, so much hatred for the way the world works, now felt empty. I was blind at the moment. Perhaps I would always be.

I heard my mother stirring in her room. The source of my torment, or the main one. She was so beautiful physically, or she was, before the cancer struck. But inside she had always had evil. I doubted she knew that I was even here. She was cursed with an extreme lack of caring, of paying attention to the only one she loved. It seemed she could only love one being at a time.

One time, that had been my father. But he struggled with so much abuse from her that one night he shot himself in the head. My mother immediately moved on to another man and another home. My grandparents took me in, though I visited my mother frequently. I was not happy at either place. At my grandparents’, I had to deal with their constant fighting and drinking. At my mother’s, I had to deal with not existing. I had to fix my own dinner, wash my own clothes, do all of my homework as best I could on my own, all from the time I was six.

I had never forgotten the ridicule I endured from my classmates as they and their parents one-by-one had “the talk,” while I sat alone not understanding a word they said. They teased me, saying that it was not worth explaining to me, that I was forgotten by everyone in the world. I endured it, but I did not forget it.

I eventually found out everything on my own, of course, but the teasing only escalated into other things. My weight (which was fine, as far as I was concerned), my hair, my fiery orange eyes, my furious temper. These I had endured from middle school into high school, of which I was now in my senior year. I had come this night to the conclusion that it had to end. I could not endure it anymore. I would never have relief.

I gathered what inner strength I had and pulled myself off the bed. I knew something else, too. My classroom tormentors might never pay for what they’d done, but my mother would not escape the consequences of her actions.

I tiptoed to her room and peeked in the door. She was asleep again. She was home from the hospital for now, seeing if she was well enough to be home, where she told the doctors she would be more comfortable, but she had many machines hooked up to her. Some medications were on her bedside table. One was labeled “Vicodin.” I knew what that was: a powerful pain reliever. It happened to be in liquid form.

I found the IV that fed into her arm, then injected the entire bottle of Vicodin into it. I hoped this would work. I waited several minutes, hoping that her new boyfriend would stay away. When I could wait no longer, I yanked the cords from her arm, ignoring the beeping that ensued. I heard no footsteps. He must be out. Hurrying anyway, I dragged her from the bed. She was surprisingly light, even though I had expected it. I was glad. I was rather strong, but I was worried about this part.

I managed to drag the front door open, forcing my mother through the doorway. I let it fall closed, no longer worried about anyone hearing. The shed was close. I had it prepared. A full container of gasoline waited, as well as two boxes of matches. I flicked on a flashlight, then shut and locked the shed. I would never see the outside world again.

Taking a deep breath, I opened the gasoline, drinking in the smell pouring over me. I proceeded to pour the gas over my mother, then myself, drenching both of us completely. Then I struck the match upon the box, trying a couple times for it to light. Then I held the match against my mother’s skin, holding her close to me.

I doused the match, watching the flames as they edged closer to my body. I was terrified. I couldn’t move; I was so intent on watching the spreading flames. I guess the pain killers must have worked. My mother seemed not to even notice the flames spreading across her body... But as they got closer, I did.

I screamed as the first tongue of fire licked my leg. I had burned my arm on the kitchen stove once, but that was a mere splinter compared to this. Insanely quickly, the flames spread up my leg, up my chest, up to my shoulders and down my arms... There was no way out of this now. I was going to die.

As I writhed and screamed in agony, my mind was surprisingly calm. I recalled what I had read about burning to death, the utter agony of the pain searing through skin, muscle, and nerves, reaching a new level of agony once it reached your organs and all the nerves they contained... And then nothing, once your nerves had finally burned away. Or maybe you would asphyxiate before then. Who knew? Just then the flames consumed my sense as well, leaving me in a fiery well of madness. My sense was something I had to hold on to, a life saver amid an ocean of agony. Now I floundered about uselessly in my mind, drowning as well as burning to death.

I never did remember the point where I stopped feeling pain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Where am I?” I whispered. I sat up slowly, feeling as if I had forgotten something... The fire. The agony. Burning, burning, burning. It was gone. I had succeeded. I was dead. But I was... Alive? I sighed. I had no use for an afterlife. I believed in none, only wanted it all to fade away, become black, become another useless figure whose life had been extinguished. But here I was. Alive again. For all practical purposes.

“So. You’re awake, huh?” A voice beside me startled me. I turned and saw a girl with dark red-violet hair and green eyes, a fierce and determined expression on her face. “Well, it’s about time. She’s coming again.”

I didn’t bother to ask who. I didn’t care. I just wanted to die! I had been cheated out of life; I had been cheated even out of death. “Why am I not dead?” I demanded. “This isn’t the death I wanted! I wanted to cease to exist! This isn’t fair!” I actually stomped my foot on the ground, wondering what would happen if I killed myself again. As the girl called “Wait!”, I started to run toward the edge of the balcony where I had found myself. I threw myself over the edge.

“Oooww!” I moaned. Still not dead. Darn. The same girl was leaning over me. She looked exasperated.

“You can’t die once you’re already dead,” she complained, looking at me as if I were completely stupid. “I can’t believe you want to die! Do you want to be reincarnated into a barnacle? Come on, join our Battlefront! We can teach you to stop moaning about still existing, learn that you’re not the only one with shitty problems, and basically stop acting like a child who didn’t get the part she wanted in a play!” She shook her head once. “I’m Yuri. I’m the leader of *insert ‘witty’ name here* Battlefront. We’re here to rebel against God for the shitty life I’m sure you, as all of us, lived. So, you in?”

Now I was confused. Why the hell would I join with some random girl who just insulted me half a dozen times? And rebel against God? Sure, maybe He was responsible for some of the shit my ‘family’ put me through, but I didn’t care. Killing my mother was revenge enough. But... Maybe she had been lucky enough to cease to exist! I hadn’t seen her here. Damn it... My plans always failed. I wanted her to suffer...

“Why should I care about rebelling against God? I’ve had my revenge. I just want to die, so kill me.”

Yuri sighed exasperatedly, placed her hands on her hips, and leaned over me. “I said, you can’t die, idiot! Do you want to end up right back in this hospital bed? ‘Cause that’s all you’ll accomplish if you try to die again! You’re stuck here unless you get obliterated!”

“Obliterated?” I perked up at that. Finally, a chance for some rest!

“Um, it just means you disappear and you turn into a barnacle or sea slug or something. That’s not what you want to happen! So you’d better stay away from Angel. She’ll try to get you obliterated.”

“Huh. Still sounds better than being here. Where can I find this Angel? I want to talk to her. Maybe she’ll obliterate me.”

“Are you not listening to me?? You’ll become a sea slug!!”

“How do you even know that? Have you been obliterated?”

“No, because I’m still here!” Yuri sniffed. “They get dumber all the time!” she seemed to say to some invisible person. “And I know just because I know!”

“Um, Yurippe?” A guy with blue hair poked his head in through the door. “Haven’t you intimidated her enough? You haven’t even asked her her name!” He walked through the door and held out his hand. “I’m Hinata. And you?”

I half-heartedly held out my hand and let him shake it. “I’m Nusune. Nice to meet you,” I muttered. “Will you tell me where to find Angel?”

“I hate to tell you this, but Yurippe’s right. You don’t want to mess with her. You’ll get turned into a starfish! It’s better if you stay here with us. We’ll protect you and show you how to defend yourself from Angel.”

“I don’t want to be defended from anything! I want to die! Is that so much to ask, when I’m already dead??”

“Well, uh, since you’re dead, dying again is gonna be pretty hard. You might as well just get over yourself with this whole death thing and accept that things aren’t gonna change.”

“Yeah,” chimed in some guy with purple hair and a halberd, who had just entered. “Perhaps you don’t know the meaning of grow the fuck up.”

I bit my lip, trying not to show how much his words hurt me. “Easy for you to say, you brutish bastard. Look at you, carrying around a giant halberd! No words can hurt you while you carry around that thing!”

“Hey, watch out!-” Hinata called as Halberd swung his axe at me. “Don’t piss him off-” I heard him fall short as the axe sliced me right in two.

“Uhhhh...” I moaned as I awoke again. Blinking my eyes, I patted myself. Intact, but something felt off. Oh yeah. I was soaked in blood. That oughta do it for anybody.


End file.
